Golden Rules of Mediation

• We shall take turns speaking and not interrupt each other.
• We shall call each other by our first names, not “he” or “she”.
• We shall not blame, attack, or engage in put-downs and will ask questions of each other for the purposes of gaining clarity and understanding only.
• We shall stay away from establishing hard positions and express ourselves in terms of our personal needs and interests and the outcomes we wish to realize.
• We will listen respectfully and sincerely try to understand the other person’s needs and interests.
• We recognize that even if we do not agree with it, each of us is entitled to our own perspective.
• We will not dwell on things that did not work in the past, but instead will focus on the future we would like to create.
• We shall make a conscious, sincere effort to refrain from unproductive arguing, venting, or narrative, and agree at all times to use our time in mediation to work toward what we perceive to be our fairest and most constructive agreement possible.
• We will speak up if something is not working for us in mediation.
• We will request a break when we need to.
• While in mediation, we will refrain from pre-emptive maneuvers and adversarial legal proceedings (except in case of an emergency necessitating such action).
• We will take good physical and emotional care of ourselves.
• We will not try to convince the mediator of anything.
• We will point out if we feel the mediator is not being impartial.